As parents, we want to protect our children from being hurt. That’s likely the primary reason why it’s so difficult for you and your spouse to tell your children you plan to divorce.
While there’s no perfect way to break the news of your divorce to your children, here are some tips to help the conversation go smoother.
1. Choosing the right time and place
For today’s busy family, finding time to gather for a meal, let alone an extended conversation can be hard. Still, it’s essential to set aside a time when you can gather together with no interruptions. A comfortable setting, such as the living or dining room, is also important. Avoid times that coincide with a big test, important game, birthdays or holidays.
2. Consider your children’s age
Your children’s age significantly influences their understanding and emotional responses. Younger children may not grasp the complexities of divorce. They may only require a simple explanation and reassurance both parents love them and they are not to blame.
School-aged children may be more aware of the situation. They will need clear communication that includes factual, age-appropriate details and that their daily routine is maintained as much as possible.
Teenagers may understand the situation more deeply but have stronger emotional responses, such as anger or sadness.
3. Expect questions
Your children will likely ask several questions. They will want to know where everyone will live, whether they will see both parents, how they will spend birthdays and holidays, whether it’s their fault, whether you will get back together and why you are divorcing. Be honest and keep reassuring them that both parents love them and will be involved in their lives.
Divorce is not easy for anyone, and it’s especially difficult for parents needing to break the news to their children. However, through love and reassurance, all of you can start to focus on life post-divorce.
